Thursday, September 25, 2008

I Am NOT Addicted...



It all started out August 22nd at Jeff's niece's wedding luncheon. They had those little snack bags with, among other things, orangey, cheesy, delicious, crunchy Cheetos. I'm not talking about those puffy, air-filled ones. I'm talking about the stelagtite-shaped, crispy-crunchy ones. So, I grabbed a bag with my lunch.

Mmmm...nom, nom, nom.

I quickly found that one bag was simply not sufficient. For, I wasn't even a quarter of the way through my meal and my Cheetos were gone. So, seeing the supply was plenty, I grabbed another. Elaina, wishing to be done with her meal and not having touched her Cheetos yet was for the first time ever, relieved from having to finish everything she'd dished up for herself. Bag #3 was just as wonderful as its predecessors. Bag #4 was procured by similar methods, donated by one of my newly favorited nieces. Ah, my stack of shiny, orange bags with Chester Cheetah grinning up at me. Ah, sweet cheesy fingertips, stained in reminder of my snack.

But I am NOT addicted. They were just really, really good and I haven't had them in a really, really long time.

Next, I was flying to San Diego. For me, as soon as the plane starts taxiing, I start thinking about my snack and my drink. Really, come on. It's the only diversion I have in there. I'm waiting and waiting for my bag of nuts or perhaps a cookie, when the lady sitting next to me (who took my window seat, but I was an adult and didn't give her a hard time about it) produces from her handbag a huge, family-sized bag of Cheetos. So I, from the aisle, watch as she takes each cheesy, crunchy walking-stick-looking snack from her enormous bag and munches them throughout the flight.

Cruel, nasty window-seat-stealng...

Weeks later, there is a carnival at the kids' elementary school and they have, oh yes- Cheetos in little, snack-sized bags. However at this venue, quantities are monitored and the kids weren't so gracious. So what was I to do when, as I was walking through the aisles at Costco, there was a gigantic orange bag of seemingly bottomless Cheetos? What was I to do?

I'll tell you what I did- I bought them for the first time in my life! I bought chips which, besides the tortilla varieties, I never do. And then, I sat on the front porch with my friend Chelsy and we ate them. Not all of them, but many. And every day since I have eaten many more.

The other day Elaina spotted me with my beloved bag and, raising it in the air, she put her hand on her hip. "Mom," she said in a very disappointed tone.

"What?" I asked, defensively.

She just looked at me, shaking her head. "Are you addicted?"

9 comments:

Hannah Johnson said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh Amber, I'm afraid to say you are in fact addicted. ;) Have at it woman! What makes me sick is that you can down so many bags of those suckers and still look like you just got off a runway. LOL If I even LOOK at a bag my already plump rear end gets bigger. LOL!

Cyndi said...

Um, I totally understand. They have recently been something I can't get enough of. I'd like to blame it on the hormones. I especially like the Flamin' Hot ones. But that can't be blamed on my hormones because I love them all of the time! I think there maybe some addicting chemical in them. Maybe worth looking into, but maybe not...keep the addiction going!

Jessica said...

Unfortunately, I can't say I share in that addiction! I think I must have overdosed on them as a kid and haven't touched one since-same goes with mac and cheese. Maybe it is the fake cheese thing? I am sad that I missed the porch sitting though!

AmShaZam said...

Jessica- that's too bad. Because they really are little slivers of heaven! And we did miss you on the porch.

Cyndi- addictive chemicals...hm... You know, I found out that 60% of Cheetos' consumer base is adults, so we're not alone!

And Hannah, at least you HAVE a butt. Melissa and I would kill for one of those!

Misty said...

Yes, (sigh) I have to admit that, my name is Misty and I too am addicted to Cheetos... My father-in-law "re-introduced" them to me about 1 year ago and no bag has been safe since. We both love them and the cheesy residue they produce. His ex-wife calls them "skank bites" which is another reason why I don't always see eye-to-eye with her...

Rachel said...

Great, now I want cheetos!

Rebecca said...

I, too, love Cheetos. But I also love the bag fat puffy ones. Randy doesn't. Can you guess which kind I buy the most?

Jessica G. said...

If you think those are good...try the new Cheetos puffs. And yes, Elaina...I AM addicted!

Amber said...

I love Cheetos too (but I'm not addicted either)- Sure, if I had a bag, I'm sure I'd eat the whole thing, but anyway...

I'm sure I'll be craving them now. Thanks a lot!